Intimacy in Prolonged Partnerships

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The Secrets to a Better Relationship

In what way does having sex make a couple closer?

The hormone oxytocin is released during sexual activity and promotes trust and connection. Studies indicate that elevated levels of oxytocin not only promote intimacy between lovers but also reduce the likelihood of infidelity. Postictal "pillow talk" has also been shown to improve relationships between couples since, following sex, partners tend to talk more positively to each other and share more personal information.

How can I fulfill my partner's wants without neglecting my own?

Research on the sexual lives of couples has shown that individuals who prioritize their own needs over those of their partners—for example, by consistently declining sex opportunities when they're not feeling it—as well as those who prioritize the needs of their partners over their own tend to be less satisfied with their relationships. The happiest couples figure out how to prioritize their needs while also giving their partner's demands their wholehearted attention.

Sustaining an Intimate Partnership

Which partners like having sex the most?

According to renowned relationship researchers John and Julie Guttmann, who have studied thousands of couples, the most passionate and successful couples "say I love you every day and mean it." They give each other a passionate kiss for no apparent cause. They offer praise. They present romantic gifts out of the blue. They are on dates. They frequently cuddle. Additionally, they show their love in public. Put differently, the couples that manage to stay "in touch" both in and out of the bedroom tend to be the most sexually pleased.

How do partners have more satisfying sex?

Essentially, having more honest and open conversations about sex is the first step towards improving sex in a relationship. A substantial amount of studies indicate that for couples to have a healthy sexual life, communication may be the most crucial component. More orgasms, more positive sentiments about sex, and higher levels of relationship satisfaction are reported by partners who talk about sex more—what they like, what they don't like, and what they would alter.

Marriage and Sexuality

Can a marriage withstand sex?

It can, and typically does, and studies show that a couple's long-term sexual satisfaction is significantly influenced by the quality of their early-stage sexual connection. In these kinds of partnerships, overall relationship happiness doesn't change even as sexual frequency and passion start to wane. But when long-married couples see that their respective levels of desire start to differ significantly, it's critical to talk about and take action on this issue.

How can sexual desire be sustained in a committed couple?

The understanding that partners may be more or less interested in sex at different times; feeling autonomy, or being able to see yourself and your partner as independent people with separate concerns; being open to growth and novelty in one's sex life; and believing in egalitarianism in relationships are among the factors most closely tied to maintaining sexual desire over the long term, according to a review of 64 large-scale studies on sex in long-term relationships.